Phishing Me, Trolling You - "Ellen"

Twitter is in the shitter. While a fascist dickless dictator attempts to destroy all human life, the pathetically incompetent management of Twitter's technically outdated platform can't even figure out how to dispose of fake celebrity accounts and other pointless garbage. Editing of minor errors that would make for actual readability is beyond their interest and capabilities. As increasingly reluctant users, we must spend countless hours checking every "Follower" to ensure our contacts aren't going to fill our feed with social media detritus. Read on - I think you'll enjoy the ride. Hey, real Ellen DeGeneres - give me a call. It won't cost you a thing! ~Jeff

 

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The moral of the story is two-fold. First, don't trust anyone in the shit-filled sewer that is Twitter. Second, everything is negotiable.

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