It's a depressing week for America, but a great week in derp. Let's look at how dumb other people are before we collectively have a spontaneous cranial explosion.
There's nothing that will make you feel like a successful human than watching Amanda try and use Facebook. She’s blocked all the halfway decent brains that used to exist on her friends list, so there's no one to tell her that's it’s a good idea to clear out her cookies once in a while or god forbid there be glitch in a server somewhere that has nothing to do with her. A few videos and several other posts about her being hacked and purposefully being targeted by Facebook went up, but have since been deleted. I mean, it’s not like she couldn’t get herself a Squarespace site and run her own blog. Shit, she could even use our partner code for Digital Ocean and host her own videos. But that would require her to pay for hosting services. Obviously Facebook and YouTube owe her a free platform. My bad.
No, Amanda. The only thing anyone can learn about you from digging through your open Facebook profile, is how to identify a severe case of over inflated ego.
There’s nothing more sad than compiling a list of people who mock you online. Conspiracy theorists spend a fair amount of time compiling these lists. Then they compile them again. Update them. Refresh them. Repeat. Then a lull falls over the troll community. People get busy, nothing to post, no new derp to make fun of, and we even get bored making fun of Murphy, Madison and The Hamburglar. The “targeted individuals” seem to forget about each “arch nemesis” they have tangled with and power on in their struggle. Often times we get fucking bored with the likes of Amanda and Jim and Peter, and run off through the weeds to dredge us up a new chemmie to play with.
The earthshaking chackra shock must be a sight to behold, if in fact these people have any contact with other live human beings. The thought of an individual not entertaining their delusions with a fair and polite discourse steels over their warm rainbow and blue-sky filled chem-free clean energy veins in an ice blast reminiscent of a blockbuster disaster movie. Their eyes glass over in a red rage as people laffin’ smoily their posts on the horrors of 5g. They develop crows feet squinting in anger at their monitor reading the scathing comments citing peer reviewed studies from 10 years ago, describing why what they parannoyingly believe is fact, is actually™ not a thing. The minutes they’ve spent researching someone else’s word salad and the hours they’ve wasted in an attempt to pass their paranoid delusions off as believable science… That’s time ya never get back. As rookies, newbies to this sad game, they lash out in the most effective way they know how. Make a list!!
I, your humble Media Wench, never make it on to these lists. I’ve tried, but I’m not a good enough troll. I’ve made the front page of Facebook and have had Popeye The Failureman dedicate a YouTube channel to me. A few chemmies mention me by name at conferences. But no lists. The Producer on the other hand is still making lists from like 5 years ago. Trolling is easy. Like 5 minutes to jump in and throw some shade is pretty simple. You can even think about these things, mock them, mock them some more, *and* at the same time and have a job and a life and shit. Being a truther must be fucking exhausting. Thinking about every way the government is trying to kill you PLUS making lists of all the people who make fun of you on the internet? Holy shit Barbara. That alone is a fucking full time job.
In closing on this week’s recap, I’d just like to point out one thing. If you’ve pissed off so many people that you now have to make a list to keep track of them, maybe, just maybe, it’s you.