The Malheur Militia needs Frito-Lay's help! They've put out a call for food and supplies to the general public in order to maintain their occupation, and as the premier purveyor of many of America's most popular snack foods, who better than to lend a helping hand than Frito-Lay?
Back in September, snack food manufacturer Frito-Lay, in conjunction with the LGBT advocacy group the It Gets Better Project, created rainbow-colored Doritos to send as a gift to anyone who made a donation to It Gets Better. By all accounts, Frito-Lay should have enough of them left to feed those poor, hungry teabaggers for weeks to come, so rather than let them go to waste, why not offer a couple of cases up to those lonely, brave men, shacking up aside one another in a cabin in the woods for weeks to come?
The private sector can function in the service of charity better than the federal government from time to time, and I can think of no better example than right here, right now. Let's bring rainbows back to Malheur! Sign my petition today!